nasteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee girls.... dont ever change...

Posted by RasMalice truth teller at 4/23/2008 11:49 AM
Categories: uncategorized

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Ok, meanwhile I cannot promise you that this will be my last
entry about happenings in a bathroom...
I can say with surety that this blog is NOT solely dedicated to toilet humor!

Newsflash: WOMEN ARE NOT THE CLEANEST CREATURES IN THE WORLD WHEN IT COMES TO THE BATHROOM! 
Now women are perceived to be the more tidy, neat, and hygenic of the species, but I have scathing evidence to support the contrary:  True story: 

The other day at work, some folks were milling around a certain area looking generally hmmmm disgusted, and someone even said:  "that's just nasty" or something  Naturally curious (and looking for items to report) I said what happened....
...woe be unto me for asking!
Some woman took a crap in the bathroom...AND MISSED!!!  wait, it gets better!
She managed to somehow step on the errantly dropped turd and track it out to the corridor OUTSIDE the bathroom where she wiped it off her shoe onto the carpet leaving behind a nice doo-doo stain.
The mismanaged turd lay somewhere next to the intended target toilet and some crap tracks were spotted on the way to the exit.

HOW could this be?  Aren't women the cleanest?  I mean they have pocket kleenex in their purses even in the summer!  They harass their mates without pause about leaving the toilet seat up and wiping it down!  What is going on here?

I'll tell you what happened... Women are DUMB when it comes to being clean!
At public bathrooms, in an attempt to use the facilities without touching the toilet seat, women employ a method called "the squat" whereby they suspend themselves over the toilet to do their wee-wees.  A result of this hovering is "spray" it gets on the seat and sometimes an small amount may even trickle down the leg!
The offending sprayer may or may not wipe down the seat after spraying as it may be "nasty" to be wiping pee(even if it is their own)  ALL women know about spray, so even a clean LOOKING toilet seat may be coated in a days worth of dry wiped pee residue.  Hence the vicious cycle of squatting continues on and on. 
NOW when it comes to number 2's, MOST women will not go in a public facility even if the doo doo is at the gate ringing the bell like a 4 alarm fire.  This is of course to avoid embarrassment and maintain the myth that their shit don't stink.  **Note to women: Bathroom stalls do not have see through doors, nobody knows who you are when you're shitting it up!  So if they must break down and drop a load in a public restroom, they employ the "toilet paper throne" method which entails lining the seat with an obscene amount of toilet paper to ensure that NO contact is made with the filthy, pee-laden seat.
Now in THIS circumstance, this imbecile had a hot one on deck and in her vain attempt to remain clean while crapping, ened up projectile-pooping(most likely due to a build up of excessive explosive gas from not farting which is the result of YET ANOTHER popular myth perpetuated by women that they don't fart)  thereby creating a situation far dirtier, nastier and unsanitary than the one she was originally trying to avoid.  DUMB! 
*Note to women, if you are so concerned about unsanitary conditions, grab some lysol or clorox wipes and keep them in your purse next to your pocket kleenex
Lets discuss this! any thoughts, insight, or stories you'd like to share? 

 

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